How Can I Help You? Key to Networking.

The word “networking” is so overused, and people tend to define it based on their expectations. Networking is defined in the dictionary as “a supportive system of sharing information and services among individuals and groups having a common interest.” Networking in the past was about showing up at events with your business cards (and resumes) and selling yourself to others, so they either want to hire you, or do business with you. With the state of affairs and so many people looking for jobs, there truly needs to be a paradigm shift from the way we used to network, to the way we need to network now. When you go into a networking situation or event, lower your expectations. Think about what you have to offer to the people you are about to meet. What can you do to support others’ needs? There will always be someone more in need than you. I’ve always approached networking in this way (which may explain why I am popular, but not rich). Whether it is connecting with people on Linked In and offering to introduce them to others, or introducing them to others via e-mail. It took me a while to get to the point where I didn’t expect that when I needed help, those same individuals that I helped time and time again, would be there for me. When I was unemployed a few years ago and reached out to my “network”, I did not receive the responses that I expected. I was disappointed and it created tension with my relationships. When you offer to help others, you have to do it from a place of giving and not expecting anything in return; no strings attached. There are some people who always ask for help and never offer it, and there are others who just don’t enjoy helping. This is a fact, whether we want to accept it or not. Everyone is different. Remember, if someone is asking for help and you do not have the energy to get involved, simply say no. It is in your right to not want to help. If you do want to help, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.

I get asked often why I offer to revise resumes and connect people when I know I am not going to get a commission from it. I truly enjoy connecting people. I like to be a conduit for future relationships. I want to see others succeed. It makes me feel good. Why wouldn’t I help someone if it is within my power to do so? Whatever connection they make with the other person, is their connection. I know the person I am and I know whatever happens in my life, I’ll be ok.

Pay It Forward

I started a blog on my business website (http://www.typearesources.com/), because I wanted to help others who have been laid off turn it into an opportunity. As I was thinking about writing my next journal for the site, I remembered a letter from a friend/old colleague/mentor, which was so profound to me at the time (and still remains close to my heart). She was someone who always believed in me, challenged me personally, and really helped me grow professionally. I thought this was important enough to also share here.

Back in 2002 during the dotcom crash, I worked for a start-up company in Los Angeles. We had grown from 10 to 200+ employees in four years, and it was challenging and exciting. I moved up quickly, because I had such passion for the work, ran with the opportunities given to me, and took complete control of my tasks, always delivering in this very fast-paced environment.

After acquiring another company and changing our business direction, we started to go through layoffs. By the fifth round, which was purely salary-based, I was gone. The woman who hired me and mentored me throughout my employment (who I remain very close to) had left a year earlier. When she found out I got laid off, she was very upset. I moved to San Diego just following the layoff, and lived with friends until I settled in. About four months later, a letter arrived from my mentor. I would like to share it with you here. I just re-read it after 7 years, and it still resonates as much now as it did back then.

“This is not a loan. This is a gift. I purposefully am sending a money order to be sure that you will accept it/cash it. Again, it’s not a loan. It’s something I want to do for you because I really care about you and have been very sad with the turn of events in your life. At the same time, I am heartened by your spirit and your refusal to give up. I ask two things of you. When you are able and however you can do/choose to do it, pass on the gesture to someone in your life. This does not necessarily need to be with money. It is whatever gesture is right for you. Second, please try to adopt this prayer into your daily prayers; it has helped me so much, especially when I was in big transitions."

"God, help me to see the opportunities you are putting in front of me. Help me keep my eyes open. Help me to live not by my will, but yours. And when I see it, give me the courage to act on it. I trust that you have a plan for me God. Help me see it, help me realize it."

Whether you are spiritual or not, there is a message to take away. Being a Gumptionista is not just about fighting for yourself or your cause, but often fighting for others who may have lost some of their fight. It's not always about giving money, but providing direction, reassurance, and a listening ear. Now is the time to offer a helping hand, however you can.